Why All Girls Should Be Playing Sports and Kicking A** on the Court, Field, and the Track
I’ve been dragging my feet on this post for what feels like eons. I think it’s because I’ve had so much I’ve wanted to shout about when it comes to females in sports, whether you’re simply a spectator or sweating it out during a rousing padel session. Let me tell you, wee Jen and sports haven’t always had the closest of relationships.
When I grew up (in The Patch of West Texas, and later, the ultra-conservative front range of Colorado Springs), sports were very much a guy thing. If a girl tried to break into the orbit, you were quickly put back in your place. In the mid to late ‘90s, I was obsessed with the Denver Broncos and loved getting roughed up on the field. American football was my jam. But then my participation started to get attention. After being scolded by a teacher on multiple occasions, I was sent to the principal’s office and told, in no uncertain terms, that I was not allowed to play football with the boys.
Fast-forward a year or two, and I was at a new school. This time, I became enemy number one to my seventh-grade history teacher. He was a real-life Rush Limbaugh: loud, red-faced, and perpetually furious at the world and anyone not sporting a penis. As a kid, I had over-the-top dreams and proudly exclaimed I would play football in the NFL, while also fully convincing myself Prince William was destined to be my future husband.
Teacher Limbaugh got his kicks off calling me a silly girl and remarking how foolish I was about dreaming of playing professional football. Reflecting on that moment almost 30 years later, I know that goal was likely delulu and I would have broken every bone in my body getting sacked by any of the league’s defensive players. Though, what stands out even more, is the power teachers have to either open a young mind to new paths or crush a dream entirely. No one suggested alternatives. No one said, "You love football, let’s find a way to keep you in it." Then, some seasons later, when I failed to rally enough support to start a girls-only football team at my school, I let one of my favourite activities wither away, concluding there was no path forward.
I was too intimidated to try out for cheerleading and had never played volleyball, basketball, or soccer outside of PE class. There was always softball, but nothing rattled my insides quite like being yelled at for playing like a girl... and then taking that female rage out by tackling boys straight to the ground. I didn’t have many peers like me, but I channelled the eternally cool Christina Ricci’s character, Roberta Martin from Now and Then, like she was the older classmate I wished I knew.
Instilling the value of sports and athletics in girls from a young age matters. When you’re told you have no place in the game, and that playing like a girl is an insult, it is far too easy to internalise that way of thinking and give up.
Between a fresh serving of puberty and nonstop opposition from the adults who claimed to know better, I gave up on sports altogether. I got special permission, and PE classes turned into speed walking and Tae Bo sessions which we picked up when there was too much snow outside. I still craved the feeling of being part of a team, so I signed up to be the boys’ soccer team manager. If I’m being honest, it had less to do with love of the game and more to do with my mega-crush on the coach’s son. I figured a season of bus rides for away games would spark some grand romance. It didn’t. He did, however, reach out to me many years later on LinkedIn. But I digress.
The real point of all this is to say: it matters. Instilling the value of sports and athletics in girls from a young age matters. When you’re told you have no place in the game, and that playing like a girl is an insult, it is far too easy to internalise that way of thinking and give up. Plus, before the explosion of the internet, when you were worrying about far more important matters like how to use a tampon, you didn’t know about things like growth mindset or that there were women across the world smashing records in sport. You only saw what was right in front of you.
It is not just about staying active or learning how to be part of a team, although those are massive components. It is about showing up with next to no skill and learning, session by session, to become just a little bit better. It is about getting comfortable with the awkwardness of not knowing what you’re doing and making the same mistake over and over again until you don’t. This last summer, when I turned 40, I realised now was the time to try all the things I’ve been too fucking scared of to even try. Many of these things were sports like basketball, tennis, padel, wakesurfing, and running another half-marathon. If it made me a sweaty mess, I was going to try it.
What I quickly realised is how your attitude towards sport ties into almost every other area of your life. What you believe about your abilities on the court can mirror how you show up at work, approach dating, or talk about your achievements or perhaps how you downplay them, and if you beat yourself up for missing the shot. You can play this out endlessly in your mind.
Sport allows you to test these theories and shows you that, more often than not, you are much stronger and more capable than you think you are. As my best friend says, “You can do hard things.” On that note, I gotta wrap this up. I’ve got a tennis lesson to get to.
